N is awake . . .

. . . and it is only 4 pm. He really has been waking up more around 9/10 pm. I am very sure that about five minutes ago, he woke up. I had been active - I was outside repotting some plants. Maybe that is the reason why? He just passed two kick counts in just these past five minutes. Will he be very active when he's awake after he comes out?

I have also come to a decision to continue this blog after N is born.

36 weeks (36? Really??)

36 weeks tomorrow!!

My c-section is scheduled three weeks from tomorrow morning!!

I apologize for all of the exclamation points. . . but it is just amazing to think about.

That said, I have been having more moments of panic. I suppose it is because I actively read the MISS board, and there are so many moms there whose babies were born still. I worry when N moves a lot for a while and then suddenly stops (he really probably does need a nap after all of that movement). I worry when I don't feel him for a couple of hours. I poke at him. He usually does "kick" back. On Saturday, I was in tears because it took a little to get him to respond in the morning. This morning he was pretty quiet, too, but I've come to a little peace that he really does seem to sleep in the morning. He's definitely more active in the afternoon and evening.

I think he's mostly head down again, but I am not sure.

We had a funny thing happen on Saturday. My husband said on his Facebook as status update: "Getting ready for the birth of our baby boy." Suddenly my mom was IMing me wondering what DH meant by this. . . that was a sign of things to come. DH was texted by a person or two asking if I was in labor, and on Facebook, people were wondering if I was really in labor?? NO!! I haven't even had much in the way of Braxton-Hicks (with my pregnancy with Sam, I did not get any BH contractions until 37 weeks along, around the time I started losing my mucous plug!)

What my husband meant is that we already went shopping together and picked up a few things for the baby. . . such as a mattress pad (the crib is now made up, complete with angelcare monitor and a sage green "Classic" Pooh sheet), wipes, green baby-size hangers, some small waterproof pads, bottles brushes, and nursing pads (for me).

My friends at church, in the bell choir, have a "pool" of sorts going - but no money involved. It's just for fun . . . everyone has a guess of the actual date N will arrive (if we don't go until March 16) and N's weight! People guessed between 6 lbs even all the way up to 9 lbs.

My next OB appointment is on Thursday morning. Will they ever do a NST? I was already having them by now with Sam. Maybe this is what a "normal" pregnancy is like? Also, since I AM planning on a repeat c-section, does a GBS swab need to be done? I don't mind avoiding it, in all actuality.

Ronald McDonald House outside of Hope Children's Hospital

I finally found photos online of the Ronald McDonald House that was literally just a "hole in the ground" the winter of '07-'08 when Sam lived in Hope. We could see this hold in the ground from his room. I remember looking out to see it snowing and blowing so often that winter. The early spring morning Sam died, it was sunny when the sun rose. I was finally holding my baby without any tubes or cords. He was starting to turn a little purple by the time of sunrise.

Anyway, we stayed for almost for 3.5 months at a local motel with the help of the hospital's social worker. It was what they were able to offer us as there was not a Ronald McDonald house at the time. All there was, that entire bitterly cold winter, was a hole in the ground. I can still picture it so clearly. . . often I parked on that side of the street when I came to be with Sam. I recognize the trees. . .

Here are the pictures of the place now: http://activerain.com/blogsview/1330491/ronald-mcdonald-house-in-oak-lawn-illinois

My mother is counting down . . .

My mother (N's Grandma, of course) IM'd me on FB a few minutes ago. The message?

"Four weeks!"

Um - wow - she's right! Tomorrow I am 35 weeks along (and schedule c-section in four weeks)!! Wow! N was bouncing on my bladder already this morning. Last night, he woke up at 11:30 pm, too. I could not sleep for a while, but that's okay. I love having him inside me!

I am happy that my mother is so excited! She was really the one, beyond DH and I, that was really 'crushed' by losing Sam. For a while, she was having panic attacks every Wednesday night, recalling our calls that Sam died. More panic attacks than I had, actually. (I'm just prone to having more generalized anxiety all the time, though.) She's coming asap after N is born. I requested this. I wanted her to be able to hold N as soon as possible, because she was never permitted to hold Sam. That makes both of us cry. . . My mother and I get along very well most of the time, and she is also my BEST friend as well. I want "my mommy" to get a chance to hold our new little boy. It is so, so important!

Rotating baby and allergies

Okay, N was head down for a couple of days. Breathing for me was much improved, which is good, because where we live, the pollen count outdoors has skyrocketed in the last week (lots of trees are blooming/flowering currently)! I am allergic to most tree pollens. However, N has spent most of today rotating! He seems to be breech and up in my my ribs again. So breathing is interesting again. . .

N has a few nicknames now, beyond what we call him, depending on who you talk to. A couple of coworkers of my husband have been calling our baby BB Junior (because my husband's initials are BB) and a couple of Asian friends of mine have started calling him Tiger because he will be born in the Year of the Tiger!

Dropped?

N has moved a lot this week. Three days ago, he was still definitely breech, and right up under my ribs. Two days ago he started moving a lot. I am quite sure now that he is head down, and and nowhere near my ribs. I look "less" pregnant than I did on Tuesday evening. I mean, N is kicking below my ribs, not in my ribs. In addition, for the last two nights, he's been moving actively at night between 10 pm and 1 am - and it is SO painful on my bladder - as if he is so low - and maybe on a nerve. I am almost 34.5 weeks. . . and he was measuring a week ahead, so. . .

What if I DOgo into labor before the date of the planned c-section?

We were surprised on Tuesday night - some friends gave us the angelcare movement monitor I'd been wanting! I am so grateful for good friends!

34 Weeks!

34 weeks -- Five weeks until my scheduled c-section! Oh, my!

The baby has thrown off MY sleep schedule quite a bit lately. Last night, I was up until 2 am, because he was moving so much, and sitting right on my bladder - to the point that I was in pain. No contractions at all, though. He seems to still really wake up between 8 pm and 2 am. I can't tell where his head is, versus his bottom, etc, anymore. I can just tell he's getting big and gaining weight!

I had a very small baby shower tonight. . . I really don't prefer to have a big, formal shower, because frankly, it would make me nervous. (We may have "meet the baby" party after he's born.) Some friends in my church handbell group had a small shower for me tonight after rehearsal. They are getting us a rocking chair (Or maybe a glider, not sure, actually)! This was one of the "larger" things on my list of wants! It will be here by Sunday. I am so excited!

I have another OB appt on Friday. We haven't done a NST yet. I wonder when those will start. Maybe I will ask if she doesn't bring it up.