N has been moving regularly the last few days, so no real moments of panic. I should say, I have been feeling him move regularly in the last couple of days. He gyrating right now in fact.
I spent part of the day with a friend who showed me her collection of cloth diapers, and the differing kinds available. I am still not sure if I am going to pursue this route or not.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
31 Weeks
I had a scare earlier this afternoon -- I couldn't get the baby to move even with eating an apple. Or at least, moving enough to satisfy me. He must have been taking an afternoon nap. However, for the last 30 minutes, he must be awake! He's just moving and moving right now, although I don't think he's changed out of his breech position yet. I feel like I am sleeping on him at night with the way he's in my sides so much.
On another issue, we've been trying so hard to acquire some of the records of Sam from the hospital he was in, for our present pediatric cardiologist to take a look at. It would have been so much easier if I had been able to just walk in with my ID. As it is, since we live 1800 miles away now, I had to fill out a form after they took their time sending it to me, and then scan and print my ID. Then mailed the form. Then they took 3 whole weeks just to mail a "quote" of price. I received this today. We need the records one week from today. . . I am calling tomorrow morning, pay by credit card over the phone, and ask that the records be mailed tomorrow!! It would have been so much easier if I could have faxed or emailed .pdfs. . . but they were very unreasonable about it.
On another issue, we've been trying so hard to acquire some of the records of Sam from the hospital he was in, for our present pediatric cardiologist to take a look at. It would have been so much easier if I had been able to just walk in with my ID. As it is, since we live 1800 miles away now, I had to fill out a form after they took their time sending it to me, and then scan and print my ID. Then mailed the form. Then they took 3 whole weeks just to mail a "quote" of price. I received this today. We need the records one week from today. . . I am calling tomorrow morning, pay by credit card over the phone, and ask that the records be mailed tomorrow!! It would have been so much easier if I could have faxed or emailed .pdfs. . . but they were very unreasonable about it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
30 Weeks, Part 2
Oops - forgot to post after my appointment!
C-Section is scheduled for March 16!! Unless N decides that it's time earlier. My DH is telling the baby that March 12 would be better! Um, no. I have been telling the baby from early on that he needs to have his own birthday, and that I want my own birthday. Yes, March 12 is MY birthday.
C-Section is scheduled for March 16!! Unless N decides that it's time earlier. My DH is telling the baby that March 12 would be better! Um, no. I have been telling the baby from early on that he needs to have his own birthday, and that I want my own birthday. Yes, March 12 is MY birthday.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
30 Weeks, Part 1
Thirty weeks today. N is jiggling and dancing again tonight in my right side mostly. He seems to like it over there. I can't quite tell where his head is, however.
We had an emotional time last night and today. I went through some baby things, some of which Sam wore in the hospital. A couple of things were added to the things we will keep, that we have pictures of Sam. N will not wear these items. One cute little outfit my husband does not remember Sam wearing, so he thought we could use it for N. However, I remembered Sam in the outfit. Sam wore it less than a week before he died - when my husband got to hold Sam finally. I had to look at the pictures to verify that it was this very outfit. It was. So that one, too, N will not wear.
Tomorrow is my next OB appointment. We hope to get the c-section scheduled! It's all coming up so quickly now!
Early this morning, I had a dream in which I was eating lots of food, and then drinking lots of ice water. I woke up extremely thirsty!
I will write a 30 Weeks, Part 2 post tomorrow after my appointment.
We had an emotional time last night and today. I went through some baby things, some of which Sam wore in the hospital. A couple of things were added to the things we will keep, that we have pictures of Sam. N will not wear these items. One cute little outfit my husband does not remember Sam wearing, so he thought we could use it for N. However, I remembered Sam in the outfit. Sam wore it less than a week before he died - when my husband got to hold Sam finally. I had to look at the pictures to verify that it was this very outfit. It was. So that one, too, N will not wear.
Tomorrow is my next OB appointment. We hope to get the c-section scheduled! It's all coming up so quickly now!
Early this morning, I had a dream in which I was eating lots of food, and then drinking lots of ice water. I woke up extremely thirsty!
I will write a 30 Weeks, Part 2 post tomorrow after my appointment.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
29 Weeks
My parents have been visiting for the last week, so I have not been able to post until now.
Until today, for the last 9 days or so, N has been lying breech, with his head right below my ribs on the right side, and his butt on the left. His feet were dancing on my bladder. I had an ultrasound last week, so this position was confirmed, and I could feel his head on the right side since then.
Today, N has been moving constantly since noon. For a while, and even now, I could really feel him punching my sternum. Is he head down and feet up? I don't feel nearly so "wide" as I have for the last week, but shorter of breath!
Last week at 28 weeks, N was estimated at 2lbs, 6oz! A friend of mine is teasing me that I will be having a 10lb baby! I hope not. I am hoping for a very healthy 8 pounder.
My parents bought us a crib. It is a relatively simple crib, with rounded edges. We are putting the baby in our room for now, and we have limited space for the crib.
Last night, another friend told me that the way I am carrying the baby, I should be having a girl. She asked me if I was SURE I am having a boy. Well, what if three ultrasounds are wrong?? We have lots of "boy" stuff. If we were expecting a girl, I would go with a purple and pink "theme" instead of Winnie the Pooh!
Until today, for the last 9 days or so, N has been lying breech, with his head right below my ribs on the right side, and his butt on the left. His feet were dancing on my bladder. I had an ultrasound last week, so this position was confirmed, and I could feel his head on the right side since then.
Today, N has been moving constantly since noon. For a while, and even now, I could really feel him punching my sternum. Is he head down and feet up? I don't feel nearly so "wide" as I have for the last week, but shorter of breath!
Last week at 28 weeks, N was estimated at 2lbs, 6oz! A friend of mine is teasing me that I will be having a 10lb baby! I hope not. I am hoping for a very healthy 8 pounder.
My parents bought us a crib. It is a relatively simple crib, with rounded edges. We are putting the baby in our room for now, and we have limited space for the crib.
Last night, another friend told me that the way I am carrying the baby, I should be having a girl. She asked me if I was SURE I am having a boy. Well, what if three ultrasounds are wrong?? We have lots of "boy" stuff. If we were expecting a girl, I would go with a purple and pink "theme" instead of Winnie the Pooh!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas
Whew. . . it is the evening of December 26. Last year at this time, my husband and I were at the emergency department of a local hospital. The day before, Christmas Day, I had had some little spotting, but mostly major cramping. I knew that I was miscarrying, because my pregnancy with Sam had never felt like that. But, I wanted to think that the pregnancy was fine. . . until fairly intense bleeding began around lunchtime on the 26th. Still, I held onto hope, because right before heading to the hospital, I got a positive hpt. No, my hormones were just high enough to give the positive, but the pregnancy was pretty much gone.
I have been in part dreading Christmas this year, thinking that something horrible would happen with our current little one. . . well, the 26th is almost over, and N is kicking me. He reminds me regularly now, reminding me that he is here and doing fine.
Christmas was laid back and relaxed. We played our new Wii games. My husband got me Wii Fit. . . which I've been wanting. Yes, I am being careful! I am right at the beginning of the third trimester! Only about 11 or 12 more weeks. Soon the weeks will be down to single digits! Hard to believe.
On Christmas Eve, we went to the midnight service. At the end, everyone gathered outside with lit candles to sing Silent Night, which I'd also been dreading. It is the one Christmas song that makes me cry since the Christmas with Sam. I almost started crying, and then in that moment N kicked me really hard. . . and I smiled and almost burst out in a crying laugh. He wanted me to make sure I remembered he was there, too!
I have been in part dreading Christmas this year, thinking that something horrible would happen with our current little one. . . well, the 26th is almost over, and N is kicking me. He reminds me regularly now, reminding me that he is here and doing fine.
Christmas was laid back and relaxed. We played our new Wii games. My husband got me Wii Fit. . . which I've been wanting. Yes, I am being careful! I am right at the beginning of the third trimester! Only about 11 or 12 more weeks. Soon the weeks will be down to single digits! Hard to believe.
On Christmas Eve, we went to the midnight service. At the end, everyone gathered outside with lit candles to sing Silent Night, which I'd also been dreading. It is the one Christmas song that makes me cry since the Christmas with Sam. I almost started crying, and then in that moment N kicked me really hard. . . and I smiled and almost burst out in a crying laugh. He wanted me to make sure I remembered he was there, too!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Variety of Experieneces/Feelings Today
Here is the post I just posted on MISS. . .
"First, I braved high winds (but got home before the dust storm moved in), traffic, crowds and did a little shopping. Besides food, I didn't buy much. I don't know why, but I was drawn to a display of small snowman ornaments with names on them. I have never actually looked for Sam on any of the name things because I always think that like my name and my husband's, we'll never find Samyar on anything "personalized". However, I thought I would look to see if my nieces' or nephew's names were on any of them as they have more "standard" names.
The whole display was rather out of order. . . and suddenly I found myself looking at an ornament, in the wrong place alphabetically, that said "Sam". I gasped. We called him Sam, and I had never thought of looking for anything that said Sam only. And then I really gasped. Right next the Sam ornament is a single ornament bearing the name (well, the shorter version of it we've been calling him already in private) that we have chosen for our new little one. It is not near Sam in the alphabet, and was not in the right place in the display, either. They were just hanging right next to each other. Impulsively I bought both of them. It just felt so right. Like a sign. They are going to go on our tree. . . except. . . we may hide the one (maybe on the back of the tree) with the new baby's name when people come (even my parents) because we're not sharing his name yet!
Then when I got home, I checked the mail and found we'd received my grandpa's Christmas letter. He is 87 years old, but really doing very well. His letter was well-written, etc. Except he mentioned the birth of his 4th great-grandchild (my cousin's daughter). I caught that right away. 4th?????? My Sam is his 4th great-grandchild!!! Cousin's daughter is his 5th great-grandchild. My new little one is his 6th! I feel so incredibly hurt by this. After having such a neat experience with the name ornaments, I think it hit me even harder than it might have.
We're starting to mark the two-year mark for things with Sam (two years ago tomorrow Sam's pressure dropped out when they were inserting a tube to drain his lung - they didn't know at the time that it was just a small, practically non-functional lung without fluid, just looked like there was fluid on x-ray, he was resuscitated, and put on ECMO for four days, right over Christmas).
I think overall, I have been having a "better" holiday season this year than last year, but right now, I am also starting to get panicked that something is going to happen yet this December. Last year I miscarried on Christmas, too, so I am just nervous. Trying not to be superstitious.
Thank you for letting me share."
"First, I braved high winds (but got home before the dust storm moved in), traffic, crowds and did a little shopping. Besides food, I didn't buy much. I don't know why, but I was drawn to a display of small snowman ornaments with names on them. I have never actually looked for Sam on any of the name things because I always think that like my name and my husband's, we'll never find Samyar on anything "personalized". However, I thought I would look to see if my nieces' or nephew's names were on any of them as they have more "standard" names.
The whole display was rather out of order. . . and suddenly I found myself looking at an ornament, in the wrong place alphabetically, that said "Sam". I gasped. We called him Sam, and I had never thought of looking for anything that said Sam only. And then I really gasped. Right next the Sam ornament is a single ornament bearing the name (well, the shorter version of it we've been calling him already in private) that we have chosen for our new little one. It is not near Sam in the alphabet, and was not in the right place in the display, either. They were just hanging right next to each other. Impulsively I bought both of them. It just felt so right. Like a sign. They are going to go on our tree. . . except. . . we may hide the one (maybe on the back of the tree) with the new baby's name when people come (even my parents) because we're not sharing his name yet!
Then when I got home, I checked the mail and found we'd received my grandpa's Christmas letter. He is 87 years old, but really doing very well. His letter was well-written, etc. Except he mentioned the birth of his 4th great-grandchild (my cousin's daughter). I caught that right away. 4th?????? My Sam is his 4th great-grandchild!!! Cousin's daughter is his 5th great-grandchild. My new little one is his 6th! I feel so incredibly hurt by this. After having such a neat experience with the name ornaments, I think it hit me even harder than it might have.
We're starting to mark the two-year mark for things with Sam (two years ago tomorrow Sam's pressure dropped out when they were inserting a tube to drain his lung - they didn't know at the time that it was just a small, practically non-functional lung without fluid, just looked like there was fluid on x-ray, he was resuscitated, and put on ECMO for four days, right over Christmas).
I think overall, I have been having a "better" holiday season this year than last year, but right now, I am also starting to get panicked that something is going to happen yet this December. Last year I miscarried on Christmas, too, so I am just nervous. Trying not to be superstitious.
Thank you for letting me share."
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